Children,  Conversation,  Parenting

How to End a Marriage Peacefully

How to End a Marriage Peacefully

Disclosure:  This is not a sponsored post.  All thoughts are my own and no other.  There are NO affiliate links in this post.   This post is now in the guidelines of the FTC.

I’m not sure if all of you know this or not, but I’ve been married a few times before this marriage.  Being bipolar has it issues with marriages and all sorts of relationships.  My last marriage, well, we actually ended on good terms and to this day, he’s a great friend and still a father to my two teenage daughters!  We actually ended that marriage in a peaceful way.  He was my best friend since my teenage years and still is to this day.  We just figured out, a few years later, that living together and with children were not something that we could do.  So, with that, I give you this blog post of “How to End a Marriage Peacefully“.

How to End a Marriage Peacefully

By learning how to end a marriage peacefully, it’s better for the children, if you have them.  My ex and I have no issues with what is done to take care of the children, their education and especially how to teach them responsibility.

Here are some tips that we actually abide by when keeping our friendship and raising our two teenage daughters:

  1.  Our children are raised in my home, see him every week, even if just a few hours.  If he doesn’t have visitations, we still go over and see him to where we can hangout and watch television while they raid his kitchen.  (They do this even if they had just been fed before leaving this house!)
  2. NEITHER of us will use the children as leverage to get the other to do something that they don’t want.  If we don’t want to do it or don’t feel like it, we leave it at that and find another way.  It’s not healthy for our friendship (ESPECIALLY NOT for the children!).
  3. Our girls know that they are not a possession of our friendship.  We want them to learn from us that even if something doesn’t work out with another person, you can still walk away as friends.
  4. I WOULD NEVER forbid my girls to see their dad!  Honestly, he’s still my other best friend.  I still tell him everything.  We don’t talk as much as we honestly should.  Yes, the hangout time, well, to me just isn’t enough.  But I can’t stand to live under the same roof as that man!  By not doing so, we all get along better.  He has already admitted to NOT knowing anything about how to teach a girl the “girl” things.  He’s not comfortable with it.  To this very day, that makes me laugh every single time!
  5. Being friends also has perks!  The one thing that should NEVER be done is try to turn the child against the other parent.  That is a childish thing to do and it’s the very wrong thing to do.  It messes with the other parent emotionally.  It also will damage the child in the long run.  Just because the adult that is at fault trying to get the child to turn against the other parent couldn’t get along with that parent being accused, doesn’t mean that they would be a bad parent.  Give that parent a chance and keep your mouth shut if you don’t agree with something!  Since we don’t do this, we get along a whole lot better than 96% of the divorce population!
  6. Children that don’t understand this, which mine actually do, will benefit from actually seeing a therapist.  Emotional help is very beneficial to small children, as well as young adults.

Our relationship is very unique.  Or at least we both think.  I know most people out there that have been through a divorce with children, are not as lucky to remain friends as we have.  My ex, he’s still a great dad!

I’d like to make one more point for this to those that are going through this or have been through part of this.  DO NOT let anyone else try to tell your children anything that is not true about your ex or soon-to-be ex.  Someone was doing this with my now 17-year-old daughter.  She was so dead set on the (so-called) ‘fact” that he was a very greedy old man that wouldn’t do anything for them.  The other, my own mother had her (up until the age of 7) believing that he was NOT her dad!  That was a huge emotional blow when she found out!  Our relationship then, was the same as it is now.  He had always been there for her and she just thought he was another relative that we seen every week.  I had no idea this was going on.  Stay in tune with your children and let them know that it is alright for them to tell you what others are saying to help them cope.  TALK TO THE OTHER PARENT!

COMMUNICATION is key!  You have to talk to and involve the other parent in decisions, even if they are not huge ones.  Talk to them, get their thoughts before acting.  I do this when it comes to many different things.  Our relationship is a very neat thing to say that we know “How to End a Marriage Peacefully“!

Disclosure:  This is not a sponsored post.  All thoughts are my own and no other.  There are NO affiliate links in this post.   This post is now in the guidelines of the FTC.

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